


I Thee Weld

by FadedSepia



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/F, Gen, Other, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 06:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FadedSepia/pseuds/FadedSepia
Summary: Weddings are always stressful, especially with two 50 foot brides.





	I Thee Weld

She turned a final time in front of the mirror, clawed hands smoothing – delicately, of course – over the layers of tulle and crinoline swathing her hips. The cream fabric shimmered in the sodium lights of the upper hangar, offsetting the blood-crimson and black of her chest plate. The cloth puffed outward at the hips, but she had thought it would hide what she’d always seen as overwide skirt-shielding. Now, at the eleventh hour, Epyon was beginning to regret her decision. She nervously picked at the back of one golden claw. “Tau, do the panier make my hips look wide?”

 _Not any wider than usual…_ 1 From her chosen spot in the corner, carefully holding the bouquet while her friend had gotten dressed, the smaller white mobile suit could only shake her head. Leave it to Epy to worry about something at the last minute. All that processing power, which she had strained to the limit cross-checking every contingency – for months! – and Taurus still thought the poor dear would doubt her wings if they weren’t bolted to her back. “It’s-It’s a little late to worry about that now, don’t you think?”

Taurus could hear the strain support bars as Epyon made an impromptu swing of the nearby gantry crane, the audible grinding echoing off the walls. If that skirt was wrinkled now… With a sigh, she fought down the frustrated blinking of her readout, leaning on the crane opposite the nervous bride. “You will be fine… and besides, your father is already waiting downstairs.”

“It’s Daddy’s fault, you know? They modelled my frame on his!” She underscored her displeasure with the stomp of one red-armoured heel before devolving into a pitiful little bout of whirring. “I have a chass' like an armoured freight transport…”

“Oh, no, no, no… You look beautiful, Epy.” She patted the other mecha’s shoulder gingerly, trying to calm her friend, but also fighting to keep the bouquet in one piece. They had spent hours getting their powder-coating and polishing done, and there just was _not_ time to fix if Epyon started leaking. Again. Plus, wrapping the flowers in that whip had been cute, but it wasn’t going to hold up for but so long. She really didn’t want to have to turn her comms on to warn her sisters that the bride wasn’t coming because _she’d_ ruined the bouquet. “Sweetie, I get that you’re having frame-image issues, but we have got to stick to our timeline, and-“

The slam of the dry-dock hangar door interrupted Taurus and sent Epyon into a startled spin. She almost tore the skirt’s long train as she fell onto the grated floor. From his place in the – now open – doorway, Zero glared in at them, chest flashing green and gold. “You’re late, and Father is panicking! What’s taking so long-?”

Epyon’s wings quivered. Her whirring now accompanied a pathetic round of clicks and beeps, her epaulets almost plastered to her arms.

For his part, Zero could only blink, looking first from his sister, then to her bridesmaid, and back. He didn’t have enough information to figure out what in the sphere was going on, emotional range omitted or otherwise. The best course of action seemed to be to sit beside his baby sister. He joined her, even if the grating _did_ dig into his wingtips. “Epy? Are you… alright?”

“Of course I’m not! My chassis is huge, and I feel stupid…” She leaned into him, still beeping to herself as their shoulder guards knocked. They sat, leaving poor Taurus to fiddle with the bouquet on the other side of the room, for a few long awkward minutes. When no response came from him, Epyon nudged into her brother’s shoulder. “Well… Are you going to say something?”

Zero shrugged, purposely not looking back at her. She could see the amused green shine of his eyes. “I wasn’t planning to. Everything you’ve said makes perfect sense. Your,” Zero clicked, “your skirting panels are pretty wide, so that’s" - another click - "that's true. And _I_ would certainly feel rather stupid sitting on the floor beeping on _my_ wedding day…”

Epyon huffed, seriously considering clawing his crest. He wasn’t supposed to _agree_ with her… but then, maybe he was right. It _was_ a little stupid. She had an illustrious military career. She came from a supportive and distinguished family. She was over sixteen metres of gundanium alloy – damnit – and she could do this! She let out a last quiet whir, scrubbing at her face plate with both claws. “Dubzy… 2 You’re the best little big brother, ever…”

“Am I?” Zero, head tilted in confusion, stood and offered her his hand, helping her lift off the dry-dock floor. “Well, don’t let Wing hear you say that. He still hasn’t forgiven me for being the tall one.”

“Oh, for Mike’s3 sake, it’s forty centimetres!” She bit down a laugh, looking for the other half of her older twin brothers. “Is he up here, too?”

“No. It appears you’re not the only bridezilla in attendance at this wedding…” Zero’s red-edged epaulets fluttered with a chuckle. “Deathscythe has her alloys in a twist trying to keep Aly calm, and you know how Wing gets when his little Hellcat is upset…”

“He’s so whipped…” No matter what anyone said about her or Zero, she was certain that Wing was just as crazy. Especially considering that he’d insisted on getting married so soon after the war. She was also pretty certain _he_ was the evil twin.

“Oh? Did you loan him some weaponry?” He hissed a few pistons, making whipping motions in the air with his fingers, green-lit eyes blinking merrily.

 Dubzy could be pretty evil, himself; maybe Wing was just the _eviler_ twin. Epyon couldn’t keep the jumbled, embarrassed readout from flashing her chest a momentary green at his teasing. She finally gave in to her earlier urge and cuffed his crest, just firmly enough to make it ding. “You are a horrid brother, you know.”

“Yes, absolutely terrible… Now, will you _please_ wipe your faceplate and come upstairs?” He motioned for Taurus – who’d tried her best to keep a polite distance – and helped the Mecha of Honour re-adjust his sister’s tulle. Epyon blotted at her faceplate with a chamois, hoping she hadn’t mussed her polish.

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - A bit of a joke with a Treize-cosplaying friend of mine: We've agreed Epyon has some of the best mecha hips. Don't judge us too harshly.
> 
> 2 - Wing Zero --> WZ --> Double-Yoo Zee --> Dubzy.
> 
> 3 - When you're a mecha, your creator is your god, right? (Still can't believe Howard's first name is " _Mike_.")


End file.
